I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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