were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
