Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
