My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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