she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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