Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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