Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
