I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
