Having a random hookup so left but love u
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
