she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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