It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
