I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize