I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
