i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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