Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I party with great urgency now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
