Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
