bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
