Already got asked if we're dating
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize