If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize