I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
