The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
