yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
