I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Drake has all the answers
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
