i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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