I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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