I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
