I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize