So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
