You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
