she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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