i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
