so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
