Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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