I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
