did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
