I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
