Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
