My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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