Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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