I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
