i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
