I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I need to align my fucking chakras
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
