kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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