I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
