Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
