She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
