My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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