So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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