Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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