my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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