We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
