no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
