i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
