Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
