I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
