I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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