6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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