K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
BRING THE BAGELS
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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