I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize