we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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